Dear Carrie, my girlfriend broke up with me because she ‘didn’t love me as much as I did’. I don’t understand why she left? It’s ok not to love someone the same way and still make it work. Surely she is wrong to have left. Sincerely, Why me.

Dear Why me,

In my opinion what your girlfriend did was right. She has every right to leave you if she doesn’t feel that she loves you as much as you do. You don’t expect her to stay with you just to make you happy? That would be incredibly selfish.

If your girlfriend stayed with you because like you she thought that it was OK to not love you as much as you did, after a few weeks, months or even years she would become unhappy and eventually come to hate you. And you will end up being unhappy too because she’s not happy. In a relationship you can’t expect anything less than perfect. If you don’t feel that special ‘something’ and are not 100% happy then you should leave. People shouldn’t stay in a relationship just because it’s good and you’re scared of not finding something better.  It should be great, AMAZING even.

You too shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t love you the same when you do. Don’t ever settle for anything less than perfect. You deserve the best you can get. And at the end of the day you’re going to be spending the rest of your life with her. So she better love you as much as you do.

 

 

 

Dear Carrie, I’m going on my first ever ‘grown-up’ date and I’m extremely nervous. Do you have any tips on what to do or not? Sincerely, First date jitters.

Dear First date jitters,

Everything is going to be fine. First dates can be very nerve wrecking but if you relax a little bit and don’t over-think things it can go very smoothly. So here are a few tips and little things I like to do on my first dates.

1. Venue
If you are doing the choosing make sure it’s somewhere you have been before you don’t want to have a horrible experience with the food or services when you get there, it will just bring extra stress. Also do not go anywhere too noisy because you won’t be able to talk or the cinema; you want to get to know your date.

2. Make an effort
But don’t go over the top. Leave the smokey eye at home instead go for something subtle and elegant. When it comes to the outfit you want to leave something for his imagination so nothing too short or breast-worthy.

3. Punctual
Do not be late even fashionably. It’s the first time you meet you want to make sure you’re on time. People are very anxious on first dates and making him wait is pretty rude.  If you are running late make sure you call or text.

4. Drinking
In moderation ! Alcohol can bring out horrible sides in people. You want the other person to learn about you when you’re sober. A drink or two to get the edge off is fine.

5. Be yourself
This is the most important part. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. If you want to start a relationship with this person you want it to be built on honesty. If you stick to the truth it will be a lot easier to remember on the next dates. You want him to like you for who you are with the good and bad bits.

There are lots of other little things like remember your manners, be kind and confident.  Good luck !

Dear Carrie, I’ve been going out with this guy for a few months and I like him. Problem is he is a Sagittarius and I am a Virgo, an incompatible match. Should I still stay with him even though we are ‘doomed’? Sincerely, Horrorscope

Dear Horroscope,

Love is not about zodiac signs and if you are compatible or not. Love is about butterflies in your stomach and an endless smile on your face. It seems that nowadays we tend to find more and more reason to not be with someone rather than to be with them. It really should be the opposite. If we start breaking up with people because our astrological signs are not compatible we will never find anyone to be with. If he makes you happy why would you want to end a perfectly good relationship?

They are many people who have perfect zodiac matches and their marriages/relationships still end badly. Take Whitney Houstou and Bobby Brown. Leo and Aquarius, they are known to be the truest companions. They believe in the same ideals and complement each other. Yet Houston and Brown’s relationship was a well-known disaster,you can’t find much worse. The same goes for Bill and Hillary Clinton, their match is an unlikely one and even though their marriage is not perfect they managed to make it work.

Relationships are not easy and if you keep on trying to find excuses for it to turn out badly it will. Nobody said it would be easy you will have to work for it. But if you really love him you will find a way to make it work. Zodiac compatibility or not.

Dear Carrie, I have been sleeping with my best (guy) friend for almost a year now in a casual manner but now I’m starting to fall for him. The thing is he has a girlfriend. What should I do? Sincerely, Friends-with-benefits

Dear Friends-with-benefits,

You seem to have put yourself in quite a tricky situation! Having casual sex is never a ‘no strings attached’ situation especially for us girls. Just like love and hate there is a very fine line being sex and feelings; one does not come without the other. It is almost impossible for girls to have sex and not have feelings somewhere along the line.

It seems that either way you look at it, you cannot win. I would advise you to think about what you want and really think. Know that whatever the decision is someone might get hurt, you included. So please take every party into consideration. If you were in the position of the girlfriend would you want this to happen to you?

Remember that there are so many other guys out there that are better and truly deserve you. And I am sure it won’t be long before you find him.